Annoyed with Crossdressing

Snidi
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Joined: Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:33 pm

Annoyed with Crossdressing

Postby Snidi » Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:17 pm

I have worn girls clothes: but I actually don't want to be doing it.
So why does it give me relief? I'd want nothing more than to just be
able to be a normal guy, without any temptation of dressing/feeling like a girl.
These temptations are annoying me....

What can I do?

Michelle_P
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Joined: Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:33 pm

Re: Annoyed with Crossdressing

Postby Michelle_P » Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:18 pm

I tried this, with the aid of testosterone shots, and the wise counsel of a parish
priest. The breakdown when it came undone was spectacular, as I prepared to suck
on a car exhaust with a tummy full of pills.

Treatment without the aid of a competent care provider may not end well.

Treatment WITH a competent care provider such as a therapist and possible medical
support will help you resolve these issues, including your desires, urges, wants., and
needs. That is easily the best route you can choose. A competent therapist
isn't going to tell you what you are or aren't. They'll guide you in clarifying
your thinking and exploring your feelings and desires, helping you to resolve these
issues.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

HappyMoni
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Joined: Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:33 pm

Re: Annoyed with Crossdressing

Postby HappyMoni » Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:18 pm

Snidi,

I hated cross dressing when I did it in guy mode. It was such a mental battle
between the male and female urges. It can make you feel so guilty and ashamed.
Unfortunately, the desire doesn't seem to leave and many times increases with age. My
only escape happened when I realized I was transgender. I never thought I was. I am not
saying that is your path. It probably would help to talk to someone. It is self
destructive to hold it all inside yourself.

Monica

ElizabethK
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Joined: Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:33 pm

Re: Annoyed with Crossdressing

Postby ElizabethK » Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:19 pm

For many years after each time I cross dressed I would get so upset when I had to
change and then get brutal with myself for feeling that way...Get yourself someone to
talk to who you can trust and preferably be at ease with. Maybe even a therapist...they
may be able to help you work your way through these feelings

Good Luck
Liz

Jane Emily
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Joined: Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:34 pm

Re: Annoyed with Crossdressing

Postby Jane Emily » Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:20 pm


Let me answer your question with another question. What is is specifically that has you
so wrought regarding crossdressing? Religious objections/fears? Worry about
what other males will think of you? Worry about what your family will
think? The nagging feeling deep inside that there is something wrong with being a
woman(even a natal woman)?

JayceeTG
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Joined: Sat Feb 04, 2017 3:38 pm

Re: Annoyed with Crossdressing

Postby JayceeTG » Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:20 pm

My interests in dressing up go up and down, one week its all I ever want to do and I
love to wear panties with a garter belt and stockings and a bra with breast forms and
then the next week I just wear my boring old male underwear and don't even dress up. I
think that I am more than just a cross dresser and think that I am Transgender but it
seems like as I get older that its just easier to bottle up my feelings and not deal
with them and perhaps cross dressing is just the way that I will always be and do it
when I feel like doing it. I say just embrace it and do it when you want to do it and
don't feel guilty if you don't.

Lyric
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Joined: Sun Feb 05, 2017 3:10 am

Re: Annoyed with Crossdressing

Postby Lyric » Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:21 pm

"What can I do?"

You can learn to like yourself, for one thing. The structure of your mind, your inner
self, your "soul" as it were is as much a part of who you are as your arms and legs
are. Some things we can change, but others we must find a way to live with.

Fighting yourself is only going to make things worse. But you don't have to go all the
other way, either, if you want. Examine your desires in detail. Make lists. What,
specifically about women's clothes do you like and what do you like the least? You've
got options. There are many ways to deal with this. You could dress androgynously or
just wearing skirts around the house. Or maybe the total immersion thing is for
you.

Yes, life might be easier if you were more like the people you consider "normal".
Trying to be someone you are not is even more difficult, though. In my experience most
people who seem "normal" are just hiding their inner selves in order to fit in, anyway.
I gave up trying to be normal decades ago and I've never regretted it.

vicki_sixx
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Joined: Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:34 pm

Re: Annoyed with Crossdressing

Postby vicki_sixx » Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:22 pm

t
want to be doing it.
You can panic, worry, stress, get depressed,
self-hate, feel a pervert, feel abnoral, feel ashamed.
None of which has any positive impact on your one and only life.
Or has any impact - positive or negative - on anyone else's life.
And which you can ever lecture anyone about the importance of being individual, of not
being a sheep, of being true to themselves, of living life to the fullest.

Or you can accept it. Revel in it. Be thankful you're so much more diverse and
emotionally/sexually/stylistically open and aware than non-trans men and women.

BirlPower
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Joined: Tue Jan 24, 2017 4:14 am

Re: Annoyed with Crossdressing

Postby BirlPower » Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:22 pm

^^^^ All of this. +10 internets.


B

SueNZ
Posts: 30
Joined: Mon Nov 14, 2016 4:48 pm

Re: Annoyed with Crossdressing

Postby SueNZ » Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:23 pm

For me I love being able to to do both. I wear clothes that fit my mind at night and
those that meet my day needs.
I am never satisfied either way especially at night because that time is sooo
short.
Once you are conflicted, you are never the same. Just takes some time to find where you
fit.
I hope you find your fit. For me I would follow my night mode if I could.
Merry Xmas Snidi.

Keri
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Joined: Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:34 pm

Re: Annoyed with Crossdressing

Postby Keri » Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:24 pm

t
want to be doing it. So why does it give me relief? I'd want
nothing more than to just be able to be a normal guy, without any temptation of
dressing/feeling like a girl. These temptations are annoying me....

What can I do?
I understand where you are coming from. I also have some uncomfortable feelings
about wearing women's clothing. I suppose I should relate my situation to you. I am a
man, and I enjoy being a man. I work hard, doing manly jobs, of which I pride myself
in. I dress like a cowboy. I have no desire to pass as a woman or to wear women's
clothing in public. But when the day's work is done, and I want to relax at home a
watch some TV, I can't wait to get out of my jeans and put on something comfortable.
Since it's winter now, I like to wear some tights and a sweater dress. In summer I like
to slip on a light summer dress.
So how did I get into this situation? Well, I like to go to medieval fairs. There are
always guys running around wearing kilts. For a long time I felt that it was just an
excuse for some men to wear a skirt. Then one day, I was working at home. It was HOT! I
live in the southwest, in the desert. I was very uncomfortable. So I took a pair of old
jeans, and cut off the legs making a denim mini skirt, and put it on. WOW! what a
difference. I could feel a cool breeze between my legs, and when I walked, the material
slid across my legs, it felt sensual. I went over to a lady friend's house with my mini
skirt on, and she loved it.
So it got me wondering as to why is it acceptable for women to wear anything they like,
including men's type clothing, but not for a man to do the same.
As Vikki-Sixx commented, women's clothing is exciting. So many styles and colors, and
feels so good next to the skin.
(and if you're reading this Vikki, wow, you sure are cute! If I had your looks I might
be tempted to wear women's clothing in public too. But alas, I look like a guy. I do
share some aspects with women, tho'. I have long hair on my head, and very little chest
hair or hair on my legs. And even though I enjoy doing my man's work, ( I recently
installed a gas line at a friend's house), I enjoy cooking and baking, and I sew my own
medieval costumes. I recently made a Lone Ranger shirt, ( like the '50s TV series),
something I have always wanted. I have some home-made bread in the oven, right now, and
I am making a chocolate kahlua cheese cake, later today.
Am I a freak of nature or am I enjoying a duality of nature?

vicki_sixx
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Joined: Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:34 pm

Re: Annoyed with Crossdressing

Postby vicki_sixx » Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:25 pm

Hi Keri, thanks for your kind words. Believe me, out of make up and hair I too look
like very much like a guy so if I can femme uo then anyone can

Obvioulsy I don't know you so this is a total blind read but I wonder if your 'no
desire to pass as a woman' is borne of your belief that you can't pass, that you're too
masculine, that you'll look ridiculous. Though I understand you like to relax at the
end of the day in women's clothes because of their comfort factor, it's highly unlikely
that there isn't more to your desire to crossdress than that. There'll be the desire to
be feminine, I am sure, and that comes from hair and makeup and nails and earrings - as
well as compliments from others. Don't mistake job and interests as determinates of
gender - men can be makeup artists and women can be electricians. I really hope you
allow yourself the freedom to explore your femme side, I am sure you won't regret it.

josie76
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Joined: Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:35 pm

Re: Annoyed with Crossdressing

Postby josie76 » Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:26 pm

Snidi, god how I used to feel so terrible after cross dressing. I felt so dirty and
ashamed. But while I was dressed I felt so natural, so really me, that I sometimes had
a few seconds of a disconnect from my reality. For just a few moments I really was a
girl mentally without the shame and trappings or male mentality. Those few moments were
the freest my soul had ever been. Of course the flip side when reality came crashing
back was a terrible pain, then the shame for cross dressing in the first place came
on.

For me those moments of just being myself were such a draw that I would do it again. I
would feel anticipation when I knew I had the chance to be home alone. I quit cross
dressing in my late teens after my mom caught me but the desire for those moments of
freedom never left. I would always look at the women's clothing section as I walked
through a store looking for what I would wear if I could. However seeing all the cute
clothes I wanted only left me feeling empty. That and the thought that I didn't appear
feminine was just depressive.

So for me cross dressing now as an out adult feel just plain natural. I'm sure for some
just doing some at home may be all they need to make their disphoria go away. For me
I'm on the path to eventual complete transition but oh it is a slow path! I now wear
women's jeans just about everywhere but work. So yes right now I'm being noticed as a
freak in my small town with my ears pierced, often painted nails, and to be quite
honest with close fitting shirts and not an oversized coat on my body looks a lot more
feminine. Enough that some people have been taking second glances at me. When we
go into the city I dress in all female clothes. Only once have I worn a wig. I might
pass at a distance but right now I don't feel that I do. Although my mother in law and
I went to Lowes the other day to get her a few items for her house. I have never had so
many workers there ask if we needed help as I did that day. I only had eyeliner on for
makeup and my hair is really not long enough to to even get styled nicely in any
feminine way.

Keri
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Joined: Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:34 pm

Re: Annoyed with Crossdressing

Postby Keri » Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:27 pm

Hi Vicki! Thanks for your answer. I have given it some thought. At this time, I don't
feel I have much need to explore my femme side. I'm still exploring my male side, lol.
My girl friend really doesn't care when I wear a skirt, but she doesn't compliment me
either. I can't see us "going shopping together", as girls. I am 6' tall 180 lbs, she
is 5' tall 110 lbs. And besides, I don't like shopping. When I'm with her and she goes
shopping, I wait in the car and listen to music. But I also wouldn't want to go in
public alone, I guess it would be more fun with other like minded people. But I don't
know any.
I see clothing as a costume. Projecting an image of yourself to the world. I don't want
to go out in the world dressed as a woman and say; "this is me", because it's not.
Maybe if I was in my twenties, and somewhat shorter . . .but I'm not. Just like with
poker, I have to play the cards I'm dealt.
But I enjoy talking with you. I admire your courage and determination.

Keri
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Joined: Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:34 pm

Re: Annoyed with Crossdressing

Postby Keri » Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:27 pm

So Vicki, tell me a little about yourself, if you don't mind. Like, how old are you,
how tall, and how and when did you start wearing or trying out feminine clothing?

Raell
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Joined: Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:35 pm

Re: Annoyed with Crossdressing

Postby Raell » Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:28 pm

@Snidi

If you are transgender, the urge to cross-dress will likely only get stronger, and you
could find yourself feeling unexplained anger when gendered as male.
Eventually, if ignored, gender dysphoria could lead to depression, and suicidal
thoughts. I'm only partially transmale, more like a non-binary person, but I take a
Thai herb, derris scandens, to stop dysphoria.

In U.S. evangelical church culture, only two gender boxes are allowed and only cis,
straight people exist. Everyone else is usually labeled a "pervert" or a "sinner" and
the MtF people are particularly targeted for ridicule and attacks from religious
fanatics. Thus, the cost for someone living in the U.S. allowing an inner transgender
self to manifest can be high.

But Native Americans recognized five genders, the Thai recognize a Third Gender,
etc.

JMJW
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Joined: Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:35 pm

Re: Annoyed with Crossdressing

Postby JMJW » Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:29 pm

What holds me back from full time is a fear of failure, mockery and just being busy all
the time >_<. When I want to dress up, I just say I'll use the time to make art
instead, but then the desire gets backed up and I get anxious and eager, with
adrenaline bursts just thinking about it.

Keri
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Joined: Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:34 pm

Re: Annoyed with Crossdressing

Postby Keri » Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:30 pm


If you are transgender, the urge to cross-dress will likely only get stronger, and you
could find yourself feeling unexplained anger when gendered as male.
Eventually, if ignored, gender dysphoria could lead to depression, and suicidal
thoughts. I'm only partially transmale, more like a non-binary person, but I take a
Thai herb, derris scandens, to stop dysphoria.

In U.S. evangelical church culture, only two gender boxes are allowed and only cis,
straight people exist. Everyone else is usually labeled a "pervert" or a "sinner" and
the MtF people are particularly targeted for ridicule and attacks from religious
fanatics. Thus, the cost for someone living in the U.S. allowing an inner transgender
self to manifest can be high.

But Native Americans recognized five genders, the Thai recognize a Third Gender,
etc.
Hi Raell. You are right about native americans, they were far more accepting of
sexual differences and desires than christianity teaches. When the conquistadores came
to america, they slaughtered male natives who dressed or acted feminine, because their
church taught it as an abomination. And that legacy has twisted our culture to this
day. That is one of the many reasons I have turned my back on christianity and become
an aspiring Taoist. I have a native american friend, who is a very sweet person, and is
somewhat feminine. It exists to this day in NA culture, despit effort to wipe it out.

vicki_sixx
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Joined: Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:34 pm

Re: Annoyed with Crossdressing

Postby vicki_sixx » Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:31 pm

t feel I have much need to explore my femme side. I'm still
exploring my male side, lol. My girl friend really doesn't care when I wear a skirt,
but she doesn't compliment me either. I can't see us "going shopping together", as
girls. I am 6' tall 180 lbs, she is 5' tall 110 lbs. And besides, I don't like
shopping. When I'm with her and she goes shopping, I wait in the car and listen to
music. But I also wouldn't want to go in public alone, I guess it would be more fun
with other like minded people. But I don't know any.
I see clothing as a costume. Projecting an image of yourself to the world. I don't want
to go out in the world dressed as a woman and say; "this is me", because it's not.
Maybe if I was in my twenties, and somewhat shorter . . .but I'm not. Just like with
poker, I have to play the cards I'm dealt.
But I enjoy talking with you. I admire your courage and determination.
I think you misunderstand me a little - exploring your femme side doesn't mean
going shopping. That can be an aspect of it but exploring your femme side is so much
more than that. Just let the girl inside you come out. She may be nervous and shy at
first, she may just want to lounge around the house in a skirt as she currently does
but in time she may want more. Like earrings, makeup, even just a hot bath with candles
and soft music. Let this softer side come through the tough barricade of the male
mindset (and ego). Dressing as a woman is one thing but letting go of all the manly
expectations and pressures was on another level altogether and it feels so good to free
yourself of those burdens. Burdens such as the expectancy to always be emotionally
tough, the inability to just panic, cry or let your emotions run away with you; to have
to take the lead in social situations, to concsiously or subconsciously (usually
subconsciously) scan a room full of other men and assess/fight for your place in the
pecking order (guys do this in a variety of ways) to have to stick to a limited range
of colours and patterns even if flowers, pink and glitter appeal to you more, to hold
your arms and body in an array of postures that are currently off limits as a man, to
allow yourself to be soft and gentle, to be able to explore the wonderful, wide array
or women's clothes and styles, to adorn yourself with glistening trinkets and chains to
feel pretty, sexy, vulnerable and desired. The list is endless and the freedom from the
strains and stresses of being a man - just being able to 'let go' - is incredibly
therapeutic especially if, like me, people always looked to you for leadership.

You say you don't feel the need to explore your femme side but your words betray you
and that you're holding back out of fear: 'I'm 6' tall 180 lbs...I also wouldn't
want to go in public alone.....it would be more fun with other like minded people. But
I don't know any......Maybe if I was in my twenties, and somewhat shorter . . .but I'm
not. Just like with poker, I have to play the cards I'm dealt'.

All this is someone afraid they'll look silly, that they're too masculine, too old, too
inexperienced, too hopeless, too tall, too alone. One of my best friends is 6' 2", 44
years old and is a stunner. I don't have height to worry about but I'm very masculine
in boy mode so had that to overcome. The point is you can look good. I'm not saying
you'll rival Charlize Theron but anyone, with the right clothes to suit their frame and
decent makeup can look good. Don't limit yourself out of fear.

You don't know anyone? Then make contacts. How do you think my friends and I did it? We
were all alone at one point, too. Be it here, TVChix or some other website, you can
place ads or get talking to people in the forums who are from your neck of the woods or
who can at least offer advice. But you know, you only get one life. Do you really wanna
get any older and look back with even more regret and 'if only'? Do you really wanna
get to your deathbed and wish you'd indulged whilst you had the chance?

And though you say you have no desire to expres yourself as a woman, to indulge your
feminine side, all the signs say otherwise. You wear female clothes, you've clearly
thought about it (and ruled it out because you think you're too old and too tall) and
you're on a trans website. You want it. You just haven't admitted it to yourself. Go
on, you'll love it!

Strokesalot0
Posts: 1
Joined: Thu Oct 27, 2016 5:20 pm

Re: Annoyed with Crossdressing

Postby Strokesalot0 » Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:32 pm

Vicki, thanks again for answering my post, but;
(And though you say you have no desire to expres yourself as a woman, to indulge your
feminine side, all the signs say otherwise. You wear female clothes, you've clearly
thought about it (and ruled it out because you think you're too old and too tall) and
you're on a trans website. You want it. You just haven't admitted it to yourself. Go
on, you'll love it!)

Well, I didn't say I didn't enjoy women's clothing, but that's not the whole of my
world. I dress in men's clothing when I work. When I go to a medieval fair, I dress as
a Viking warrior, (not a damsel-in-distress). I wouldn't wear that in public either!
When I go jogging, I dress in the proper clothing for that too, not a cocktail dress
and heels.
I enjoy many different modes of dress. It's all an expression of differing
needs/interests, is it not?
I like you and I sympathize with you and all of the others on this board, but I don't
want this to dominate my life.
I was raised in a homo-phobic christian family. The fact that I am on this site, shows
how I have mellowed, and become more embracing of other lifestyles and thoughts.
Now can you accept that this is as far as I want to go, in this direction?


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