Annoyed with Crossdressing

Snidi
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Joined: Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:33 pm

Annoyed with Crossdressing

Postby Snidi » Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:17 pm

I have worn girls clothes: but I actually don't want to be doing it.
So why does it give me relief? I'd want nothing more than to just be
able to be a normal guy, without any temptation of dressing/feeling like a girl.
These temptations are annoying me....

What can I do?

Michelle_P
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Joined: Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:33 pm

Re: Annoyed with Crossdressing

Postby Michelle_P » Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:18 pm

I tried this, with the aid of testosterone shots, and the wise counsel of a parish
priest. The breakdown when it came undone was spectacular, as I prepared to suck
on a car exhaust with a tummy full of pills.

Treatment without the aid of a competent care provider may not end well.

Treatment WITH a competent care provider such as a therapist and possible medical
support will help you resolve these issues, including your desires, urges, wants., and
needs. That is easily the best route you can choose. A competent therapist
isn't going to tell you what you are or aren't. They'll guide you in clarifying
your thinking and exploring your feelings and desires, helping you to resolve these
issues.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

HappyMoni
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Joined: Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:33 pm

Re: Annoyed with Crossdressing

Postby HappyMoni » Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:18 pm

Snidi,

I hated cross dressing when I did it in guy mode. It was such a mental battle
between the male and female urges. It can make you feel so guilty and ashamed.
Unfortunately, the desire doesn't seem to leave and many times increases with age. My
only escape happened when I realized I was transgender. I never thought I was. I am not
saying that is your path. It probably would help to talk to someone. It is self
destructive to hold it all inside yourself.

Monica

ElizabethK
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Joined: Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:33 pm

Re: Annoyed with Crossdressing

Postby ElizabethK » Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:19 pm

For many years after each time I cross dressed I would get so upset when I had to
change and then get brutal with myself for feeling that way...Get yourself someone to
talk to who you can trust and preferably be at ease with. Maybe even a therapist...they
may be able to help you work your way through these feelings

Good Luck
Liz

Jane Emily
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Joined: Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:34 pm

Re: Annoyed with Crossdressing

Postby Jane Emily » Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:20 pm


JayceeTG
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Joined: Sat Feb 04, 2017 3:38 pm

Re: Annoyed with Crossdressing

Postby JayceeTG » Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:20 pm

My interests in dressing up go up and down, one week its all I ever want to do and I
love to wear panties with a garter belt and stockings and a bra with breast forms and
then the next week I just wear my boring old male underwear and don't even dress up. I
think that I am more than just a cross dresser and think that I am Transgender but it
seems like as I get older that its just easier to bottle up my feelings and not deal
with them and perhaps cross dressing is just the way that I will always be and do it
when I feel like doing it. I say just embrace it and do it when you want to do it and
don't feel guilty if you don't.

Lyric
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Joined: Sun Feb 05, 2017 3:10 am

Re: Annoyed with Crossdressing

Postby Lyric » Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:21 pm

"What can I do?"

You can learn to like yourself, for one thing. The structure of your mind, your inner
self, your "soul" as it were is as much a part of who you are as your arms and legs
are. Some things we can change, but others we must find a way to live with.

Fighting yourself is only going to make things worse. But you don't have to go all the
other way, either, if you want. Examine your desires in detail. Make lists. What,
specifically about women's clothes do you like and what do you like the least? You've
got options. There are many ways to deal with this. You could dress androgynously or
just wearing skirts around the house. Or maybe the total immersion thing is for
you.

Yes, life might be easier if you were more like the people you consider "normal".
Trying to be someone you are not is even more difficult, though. In my experience most
people who seem "normal" are just hiding their inner selves in order to fit in, anyway.
I gave up trying to be normal decades ago and I've never regretted it.

vicki_sixx
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Joined: Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:34 pm

Re: Annoyed with Crossdressing

Postby vicki_sixx » Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:22 pm


BirlPower
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Joined: Tue Jan 24, 2017 4:14 am

Re: Annoyed with Crossdressing

Postby BirlPower » Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:22 pm

^^^^ All of this. +10 internets.


B

SueNZ
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Joined: Mon Nov 14, 2016 4:48 pm

Re: Annoyed with Crossdressing

Postby SueNZ » Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:23 pm

For me I love being able to to do both. I wear clothes that fit my mind at night and
those that meet my day needs.
I am never satisfied either way especially at night because that time is sooo
short.
Once you are conflicted, you are never the same. Just takes some time to find where you
fit.
I hope you find your fit. For me I would follow my night mode if I could.
Merry Xmas Snidi.

Keri
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Joined: Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:34 pm

Re: Annoyed with Crossdressing

Postby Keri » Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:24 pm


vicki_sixx
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Re: Annoyed with Crossdressing

Postby vicki_sixx » Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:25 pm

Hi Keri, thanks for your kind words. Believe me, out of make up and hair I too look
like very much like a guy so if I can femme uo then anyone can

Obvioulsy I don't know you so this is a total blind read but I wonder if your 'no
desire to pass as a woman' is borne of your belief that you can't pass, that you're too
masculine, that you'll look ridiculous. Though I understand you like to relax at the
end of the day in women's clothes because of their comfort factor, it's highly unlikely
that there isn't more to your desire to crossdress than that. There'll be the desire to
be feminine, I am sure, and that comes from hair and makeup and nails and earrings - as
well as compliments from others. Don't mistake job and interests as determinates of
gender - men can be makeup artists and women can be electricians. I really hope you
allow yourself the freedom to explore your femme side, I am sure you won't regret it.

josie76
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Joined: Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:35 pm

Re: Annoyed with Crossdressing

Postby josie76 » Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:26 pm

Snidi, god how I used to feel so terrible after cross dressing. I felt so dirty and
ashamed. But while I was dressed I felt so natural, so really me, that I sometimes had
a few seconds of a disconnect from my reality. For just a few moments I really was a
girl mentally without the shame and trappings or male mentality. Those few moments were
the freest my soul had ever been. Of course the flip side when reality came crashing
back was a terrible pain, then the shame for cross dressing in the first place came
on.

For me those moments of just being myself were such a draw that I would do it again. I
would feel anticipation when I knew I had the chance to be home alone. I quit cross
dressing in my late teens after my mom caught me but the desire for those moments of
freedom never left. I would always look at the women's clothing section as I walked
through a store looking for what I would wear if I could. However seeing all the cute
clothes I wanted only left me feeling empty. That and the thought that I didn't appear
feminine was just depressive.

So for me cross dressing now as an out adult feel just plain natural. I'm sure for some
just doing some at home may be all they need to make their disphoria go away. For me
I'm on the path to eventual complete transition but oh it is a slow path! I now wear
women's jeans just about everywhere but work. So yes right now I'm being noticed as a
freak in my small town with my ears pierced, often painted nails, and to be quite
honest with close fitting shirts and not an oversized coat on my body looks a lot more
feminine. Enough that some people have been taking second glances at me. When we
go into the city I dress in all female clothes. Only once have I worn a wig. I might
pass at a distance but right now I don't feel that I do. Although my mother in law and
I went to Lowes the other day to get her a few items for her house. I have never had so
many workers there ask if we needed help as I did that day. I only had eyeliner on for
makeup and my hair is really not long enough to to even get styled nicely in any
feminine way.

Keri
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Joined: Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:34 pm

Re: Annoyed with Crossdressing

Postby Keri » Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:27 pm

Hi Vicki! Thanks for your answer. I have given it some thought. At this time, I don't
feel I have much need to explore my femme side. I'm still exploring my male side, lol.
My girl friend really doesn't care when I wear a skirt, but she doesn't compliment me
either. I can't see us "going shopping together", as girls. I am 6' tall 180 lbs, she
is 5' tall 110 lbs. And besides, I don't like shopping. When I'm with her and she goes
shopping, I wait in the car and listen to music. But I also wouldn't want to go in
public alone, I guess it would be more fun with other like minded people. But I don't
know any.
I see clothing as a costume. Projecting an image of yourself to the world. I don't want
to go out in the world dressed as a woman and say; "this is me", because it's not.
Maybe if I was in my twenties, and somewhat shorter . . .but I'm not. Just like with
poker, I have to play the cards I'm dealt.
But I enjoy talking with you. I admire your courage and determination.

Keri
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Joined: Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:34 pm

Re: Annoyed with Crossdressing

Postby Keri » Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:27 pm

So Vicki, tell me a little about yourself, if you don't mind. Like, how old are you,
how tall, and how and when did you start wearing or trying out feminine clothing?

Raell
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Joined: Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:35 pm

Re: Annoyed with Crossdressing

Postby Raell » Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:28 pm

@Snidi

If you are transgender, the urge to cross-dress will likely only get stronger, and you
could find yourself feeling unexplained anger when gendered as male.
Eventually, if ignored, gender dysphoria could lead to depression, and suicidal
thoughts. I'm only partially transmale, more like a non-binary person, but I take a
Thai herb, derris scandens, to stop dysphoria.

In U.S. evangelical church culture, only two gender boxes are allowed and only cis,
straight people exist. Everyone else is usually labeled a "pervert" or a "sinner" and
the MtF people are particularly targeted for ridicule and attacks from religious
fanatics. Thus, the cost for someone living in the U.S. allowing an inner transgender
self to manifest can be high.

But Native Americans recognized five genders, the Thai recognize a Third Gender,
etc.

JMJW
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Joined: Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:35 pm

Re: Annoyed with Crossdressing

Postby JMJW » Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:29 pm

What holds me back from full time is a fear of failure, mockery and just being busy all
the time >_<. When I want to dress up, I just say I'll use the time to make art
instead, but then the desire gets backed up and I get anxious and eager, with
adrenaline bursts just thinking about it.

Keri
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Joined: Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:34 pm

Re: Annoyed with Crossdressing

Postby Keri » Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:30 pm


vicki_sixx
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Re: Annoyed with Crossdressing

Postby vicki_sixx » Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:31 pm


Strokesalot0
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Joined: Thu Oct 27, 2016 5:20 pm

Re: Annoyed with Crossdressing

Postby Strokesalot0 » Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:32 pm

Vicki, thanks again for answering my post, but;
(And though you say you have no desire to expres yourself as a woman, to indulge your
feminine side, all the signs say otherwise. You wear female clothes, you've clearly
thought about it (and ruled it out because you think you're too old and too tall) and
you're on a trans website. You want it. You just haven't admitted it to yourself. Go
on, you'll love it!)

Well, I didn't say I didn't enjoy women's clothing, but that's not the whole of my
world. I dress in men's clothing when I work. When I go to a medieval fair, I dress as
a Viking warrior, (not a damsel-in-distress). I wouldn't wear that in public either!
When I go jogging, I dress in the proper clothing for that too, not a cocktail dress
and heels.
I enjoy many different modes of dress. It's all an expression of differing
needs/interests, is it not?
I like you and I sympathize with you and all of the others on this board, but I don't
want this to dominate my life.
I was raised in a homo-phobic christian family. The fact that I am on this site, shows
how I have mellowed, and become more embracing of other lifestyles and thoughts.
Now can you accept that this is as far as I want to go, in this direction?


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