Did not know where to post this question

Bdnewgirl
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Joined: Sun Jan 29, 2017 3:35 am

Did not know where to post this question

Postby Bdnewgirl » Sun Jan 29, 2017 3:11 am

I have a question,and I will try to ask without offinding any of you wonderfull
people.
But first let me give you a little background on me to help in this question.
I live in a small town in Indiana. I manage a Liquore store. (here's a hard part,
to group all of us ) I've had no experiance with any TG people.
Now remember I wish not to offend anyone.
I had my first meeting with a MTF. She came in to shop and when she walked in it seemed
as every on was starring and snickering (made me want to throw all of them out) but I
never seen someone so proud and confident about themselve.
She walked in did her shopping ingnored all the snickers smiled the whole time. When
she got to the counter even my own employe was smirking. I just smiled at her and told
the clerk to askyou forgot to ask HER if SHE would like a bag. When she heard me say
HER AND SHE she smile at me and thanked me and left. It was then that the people
started to make the jokes and razz me By saying Don't you know a guy in drag when you
see one, I said I see a custermer that is makeng a purchess and will get respect just
like any other person who walks through this door and I expect my employees to do the
same.
My big question I feel that I should have done something to stop all the snickering and
shown more support and let her know that she is welcome any time and shop with out fear
in my store. Or did me calling Her, she and her was that enough to let her know that
she is welcome here.
So to my new MTF friends did I do enough or should I have done more. And how do I show
respect with out telling that I am a closet crossdresser myself. I would not care if
she only knew but not the other Idiots.


Brandi

Dennis
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Joined: Sun Jan 29, 2017 3:35 am

Re: Did not know where to post this question

Postby Dennis » Sun Jan 29, 2017 3:14 am

I think you did well. The best way to change people's attitudes is by setting a good
example.

Dennis

Leigh
Posts: 0
Joined: Sun Jan 29, 2017 3:36 am

Re: Did not know where to post this question

Postby Leigh » Sun Jan 29, 2017 3:16 am

You did everything right. You acknowleged the appropiate gender.

To have said anything either while she was there or after leaving could have caused the
other customers to get defensive attitudes toward their bigotry.

Edit to add:

Respect her right to privacey. There is nothing worse than to break that
barrier. Bringing up your situation would just not be appropiate. The only
time would be if she brings the subject up herself.

Bdnewgirl
Posts: 0
Joined: Sun Jan 29, 2017 3:35 am

Re: Did not know where to post this question

Postby Bdnewgirl » Sun Jan 29, 2017 3:19 am

I learned to acknowlege the appropiate gender from reading the posts here>
Thank all you for all the help.

Brandi

Angharad1
Posts: 0
Joined: Thu Oct 20, 2016 4:51 am

Re: Did not know where to post this question

Postby Angharad1 » Sun Jan 29, 2017 3:22 am

Bravo Brandi, you did good. If you haven't read this yet then you should It will help a
lot. I usually give a copy to friends who ask what they should do or say.


AllisonY2K
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Joined: Sun Jan 29, 2017 3:39 am

Re: Did not know where to post this question

Postby AllisonY2K » Sun Jan 29, 2017 3:24 am

Does your store have nomination forms for employee of the month?

Chaunte
Posts: 0
Joined: Sun Jan 29, 2017 3:39 am

Re: Did not know where to post this question

Postby Chaunte » Sun Jan 29, 2017 3:27 am

Brandi,

You did well. From all of us, thank you.

Chaunte

ChefAnnagirl
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Joined: Sun Jan 29, 2017 3:40 am

Re: Did not know where to post this question

Postby ChefAnnagirl » Sun Jan 29, 2017 3:31 am

Hi Brandi -

Last week, I WAS EXACTLY that girl in the store, here where I live....

A local county Liqour store employee treated me with the same level of real kindness
and respect, and even gave me one of the very best compliments on my hair and makeup
that ive ever had - EVER - amongst a crowd of what I will call "classless" or at very
least, clueless, onlookers...

He was cute, well spoken, and well mannered, and it left me walking out feeling even
taller, more confident, more beautiful, and a gazillion times happier than when I
walked in.. And I DID walk in feeling superperfectbeautifulconfident already that
day...
I left there floating on clouds which actually have lasted since then and have even
gone back in there since, just because of him - - and I knew I was totally smokin' that
day - as I was dressed to kill and going to a small party that evening...

I had to respond to this as I read it (your post) because how such RLE/RLT affects all
of us that have to deal with being out in the public eye with any regularity -

From both sides - when I'm feeling good, and pretty, self confident, well
dressed(always as much as possible), proud, and at all times always treating all others
I have contact with, with grace, love, smiles, respect and dignity, no matter how they
may act or react to me face to face or otherwise - We just cant let it get to us (or
show it) because we know its ALWAYS there, that's when we really begin to lose all the
ground we've gained internally, as well as the fact that if others like this see that
they're actually having a negative effect on us, then it gives them all the power
instead of us being able to claim every single speck and drop of it back for our own
hearts...

I think from what you described, you did an utterly excellent thing, and amongst your
employees and possibly even some customers, set the true example of acceptance and
compassion for a fellow human being, no matter what they may have looked like on the
outside - This will sometimes have a real affect on people, especially if they see that
you really take it deadly serious and arent willing to play games and go along with
their rude, shallow minded, and classless presumptiveness...

You may have actually made one or two of them really think for a moment (one can only
hope) - and after all, as you said, She was a paying customer, regardless - and that
customer, no matter how she looks, IS still paying THEIR salaries, THEIR bills, and
putting food on THEIR tables whether they like it or not - maybe next time they could
use a little reminder along those lines as well....

A human being - just like all the rest, just like them - just looking "different", as
she feels she must express herself, no matter the risks... Just like me, just like all
of us here, in one way or another, once we've actually come out into the public
view...

All too often, because of the countless forms of long standing "social bigotry" still
so deeply ingrained in so many people, they will laugh, snigger, whisper, comment,
steal looks and glances for their personal entertainment or whatever - just because
they think that they actually know something about Me, or her, or the particular person
in question - someone like us - when in fact, they are only still engagaing in the
lowest form of social interchange by continually judging books by their covers without
even the slightest clue as to the real contents of that particular book -

I think you did real good - almost entirely perfect in fact - and it literally
makes my heart leap with joy when I read your post. Thank you deeply and dearly, if
only more people could be as truly loving, respectful, willing to learn, and come to
real truthful terms with things like this - It would be truly miraculous...

Lovingly always,
Love forever,

Most Sincerely,


ChefAnnagirl

MistressD0
Posts: 2
Joined: Sat Oct 22, 2016 12:06 pm

Re: Did not know where to post this question

Postby MistressD0 » Sun Jan 29, 2017 3:33 am

Wel done Brandi,

I agree with the others challeging them would not have achieved anything but setting a
good example to the weak minded can.

Shelley


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