Going out - an informal survey

Kerry30Den
Posts: 1
Joined: Wed Dec 07, 2016 4:34 pm

Re: Going out - an informal survey

Postby Kerry30Den » Fri Jan 06, 2017 11:22 pm

I guess my answer will be more for comparing now and then. I first went out in public in 1980 in NYC. I got involved with the crossdressing community in NYC for the next 20 years enjoying clubbing in and around the city. During that time I perfected my look so that I could pass day or night and mix withe the general public. I can tell you that these are the best time for us. On the rare occasion that I raise a question with store or restaurant staff I have always been treated with respect and courtesy. Acting and presenting yourself in a stylish and mainstream manner that tries to honor women and their femininty goes a long way in getting the acceptance we all desire. Go for it. The time has never been better in most parts of the country.

Kerry30Den
Posts: 1
Joined: Wed Dec 07, 2016 4:34 pm

Re: Going out - an informal survey

Postby Kerry30Den » Fri Jan 06, 2017 11:23 pm

The only time I've been out was this past Halloween. I really liked it and would like to go out again, but I really don't have any interest in just doing day to day things. I'd much prefer to make it a night out, specifically in a friendly bar/club. Someday soon I will hopefully get an opportunity to do so.

Kerry30Den
Posts: 1
Joined: Wed Dec 07, 2016 4:34 pm

Re: Going out - an informal survey

Postby Kerry30Den » Fri Jan 06, 2017 11:23 pm

I have been out several times but not lately. I try to avoid testing the "more accepting" theory. The last time I went out I was in an outdoor mall that was closing. I was walking and a middle aged woman came walking towards me. I thought I was dressed pretty well and appropriately for the time and place. She looked at me and made a disgusting face. That hurt my feelings and I went back home.

I don't think "the world is more accepting than our imaginations/anxieties would have us believe". Perhaps there is less chance of being openly hassled or assaulted but people still believe crossdressers are mentally ill and should stay in their own homes.

Kerry30Den
Posts: 1
Joined: Wed Dec 07, 2016 4:34 pm

Re: Going out - an informal survey

Postby Kerry30Den » Fri Jan 06, 2017 11:23 pm

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I people still believe crossdressers are mentally ill and should stay in their own homes.



Some people probably, possibly even 'many people' believe this but... I recently attended a show in the Midlands of England en femme. The clientele was at least 90% male. In fact I suspect that the vast majority of the GGs in the hall were working on stands (booths for our US cousins) or serving food. The lady on the ticket desk took my money, chatted about the weather and gave me my ticket. She even smiled. She didn't give me the impression that she believed that I was mentally ill and needed to stay at home. Yes, I did get some looks but I also got into conversation admiring the work on some of the displays and the customary apologies when someone strays into your path while you're attempting to take a photo. I was probably the only person in the place who was wearing a skirt and yet I did not sense any hostility whatsoever, amusement or bemusement possibly but not hostility.
I then went shopping and had nothing but positive interactions with the various SAs whom I encountered.

Here's the point. We note, time and again, that it's very much in a SA's interest to remain at least civil - we're customer's like anyone else and our money will do as nicely as anyone else's. I think that we all understand this in theory at least. Experiencing it is a different matter. But, because our expectation is that SAs will be moderately accepting (or at least maintain the appearance of being so), citing the experience that they have been is tending to lose its impact.
, the 50+ male visitor to a model engineering show has . He gains by refraining from laughing at / snarling at / openly ridiculing me (I don't pass close inspection) and yet that's precisely what several hundred such men did. They were much more interested in the various things that they had come to see than in my attire. They effectively ignored how I was dressed. That is the behavior that I would expect if they all thought that I was "mentally ill and should stay at home".

Kerry30Den
Posts: 1
Joined: Wed Dec 07, 2016 4:34 pm

Re: Going out - an informal survey

Postby Kerry30Den » Fri Jan 06, 2017 11:24 pm

I started going out to public spaces where I'd encounter muggles probably 5-6 years ago. It was only 3 years ago that I first walked into a store. Genie out of the bottle, no turning back now. My situation dictates I only get to get out and about for any length of time once or if lucky, twice a year.

My last extended time enfemme was just a matter of weeks ago. I went out every day for a week, accumulating many many hours CD'ing in public. In all that time one of a group of 3 teenage girls sat in a cafe I was in say loud enough for me to hear, "That's a man". Well spotted I thought. Again sitting this time in a Subway sandwich shop a very young boy asked his mom, "Is that a man" and funnily enough as I was leaving a cafe a middle aged GG blurted out with utter surprise on her face "OOOH look" to her friends sat with her. I looked at her and just smiled, stayed calm and carried on.

It goes with the turf. I know I don't pass close inspection. I feel however I blend in a crowd. As others have described I had many positive experiences with SA's. I engaged in conversation with individual muggles. Went to the cinema, traveled by train, bus and taxi. dined in a restaurant. Went to 2 group meetings and spent time drinking with others in a pub. Sat in a Boots the chemist store and had one of the beauticians give me a mini makeover spending 20 + minutes for all to see. Never felt threatened, 99% were, if they did clock me, respectful and went on about their business. In the time I spent enfemme I must have encountered literally 1000's of people. If out of that number 3 see fit to comment so be it. I'll take those odds.

I'd known some years back going out to public places in daylight was something I'd to do. I wasn't going to get to my last days on earth and wish, if only. I've experience much in my CD'ing journey and I hope to experience more. All I can say to those looking to find the courage to go out is your fear is real, I felt the same. The reality of the situation however is that the fear is hugely over imagined.


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