Not Who She Said She Was

Kerry30Den
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Joined: Wed Dec 07, 2016 4:34 pm

Not Who She Said She Was

Postby Kerry30Den » Thu Dec 15, 2016 11:17 pm

There was a member who posted here on a regular basis, probably since before I joined. One day she was gone. Someone asked and the report back was that she had been banned because she was not who she said she was.

This is the Internet of course and on the Internet, we can be whoever and whatever we want to be. A person can be a multinational corporation on the Internet when in reality, he is selling things out of his basement.

There are times when I read posts by some of the long time

Kerry30Den
Posts: 1
Joined: Wed Dec 07, 2016 4:34 pm

Re: Not Who She Said She Was

Postby Kerry30Den » Thu Dec 15, 2016 11:17 pm

There was a member who posted here on a regular basis, probably since before I joined. One day she was gone. Someone asked and the report back was that she had been banned because she was not who she said she was.

This is the Internet of course and on the Internet, we can be whoever and whatever we want to be. A person can be a multinational corporation on the Internet when in reality, he is selling things out of his basement.

There are times when I read posts by some of the long time members and I say to myself "What she just posted doesn't match up to things she posted about herself in the past." Sure, some things change over time like where we live, our marital status, how much time we spend dressed, but some things cannot change. I'm wondering if that Internet freedom is creeping in or if perhaps there is some pretending going on and they have forgotten their history on this forum.

There's no way to know what is real and what is not on the Internet. For example, look at the avatars and photos posted by members. There was a member who I followed a while back and I always though of her as her avatar photo until she admitted that it was not her, but a photo of a woman taken from the Internet. Certainly there are more cases of this. It's not hard to imagine some creepy old man posting here as a crossdresser or even a woman and getting his jollies while doing it.

So is there a point to this rant? Yep. Don't believe everything you read on the Internet and don't believe everything you see on the Internet. And that would include this forum. It's good for entertainment and you can get some good advice and ideas here but it's up to you to think about what you read and what you see before you believe it or act on it.

Kerry30Den
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Joined: Wed Dec 07, 2016 4:34 pm

Re: Not Who She Said She Was

Postby Kerry30Den » Thu Dec 15, 2016 11:17 pm

I saw this on the internet.
download.jpg

Kerry30Den
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Re: Not Who She Said She Was

Postby Kerry30Den » Thu Dec 15, 2016 11:18 pm

Krisi you are absolutely right. None of us can be sure of who we are giving and receiving advice to no matter how well intended. We are all adults here and should use a heavy dose of common sense before enacting any course of action based on any advice received.

Always remember 'The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

M x

Kerry30Den
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Joined: Wed Dec 07, 2016 4:34 pm

Re: Not Who She Said She Was

Postby Kerry30Den » Thu Dec 15, 2016 11:18 pm

Krisi, I'm not really a crossdresser, but a Nigerian Prince that needs your assistance getting my fortune out of the country........ha.
I agree with you that the internet allows people to be deceptive, but I also see the flip side: it allows honesty. I have made forum posts and had conversations (from long ago AOL crossdressing chat rooms to present day PM's) in which I revealed things about me and my CDing that I would never reveal to someone who knows my true name and identity. It's made possible by anonymity - my name and online identity are fake - what I post is true. A lot of us wouldn't be here trying to connect with like-minded CDers unless we can do anonymously.

Kerry30Den
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Joined: Wed Dec 07, 2016 4:34 pm

Re: Not Who She Said She Was

Postby Kerry30Den » Thu Dec 15, 2016 11:18 pm

Krisi, yes, any old creep could be out there lurking in the internet goo. Do not believe anything you read or see on the internet. But guess what, without the internet I still would not know that I am a crossdresser. I would not know about this site where despite anything negative, I have learned a lot and gained a few friends who are not afraid to listen to my long rants! In other words, yes it is a rotten world, but there are a few rays of hope out there that keep us going on on our journey! I am ranting again, sorry!! Hugs Lana Mae

Kerry30Den
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Joined: Wed Dec 07, 2016 4:34 pm

Re: Not Who She Said She Was

Postby Kerry30Den » Thu Dec 15, 2016 11:18 pm

Anonymity is an extremely sharp, albeit dangerous double-edged sword.

On one hand, this very veil of anonymity has allowed us to speak our minds beneath the signature of another name, to share thoughts and beliefs that no one else would likely hear, to open up and live a part of us that might well have been canned up, denied and rejected otherwise. I wouldn't know who else to turn to if not for this forum - goodness knows how different this part of me would have turned out if I found myself on other social media like Reddit / Tumblr etc. in place of this site.

On the other hand, it would be deceptively easy for one to take advantage of the same veil to commit malice for whatever reason. As did Krisi, I have also imagined the notion of a shady figure lurking on this site and deriving an unimaginable, perverse pleasure from goodness knows what. I'm more concerned with lurkers than anyone who posts, but there really isn't much I can complain about either.

While this is indeed a world that encourages and indeed expects us to speak our minds, remain vulnerable and wear our innermost selves outside like a flag, we all have our shadows: those we seek refuge in, those we have emerged from and shed. These shadows are every inch a part of our authentic selves as well, much as there will always be those who take advantage of their shadowy veils. There's thus an air of negativity over the word 'hide' all over the global observer - that hiding implies shame, and shame implies a guilty conscience of sorts. But that's another thought for another time.

I still take this entire site with a good amount of salt nonetheless - while many of us want to 'be ourselves' in one way or another in posting here, recognition is its own can of worms. Recognition is perhaps a way to drop your guard and show that you mean well - like how knights raised their visors, soldiers salute with open palms and ships by discharging their cannon. I don't find it entirely necessary to disclose personal identification information; to force out such information from another would be despicable at best and a severe invasion of privacy at worst.

This said, personal advice is limited only because not all of ourselves can be fully represented. Everything on the Internet, much less this forum, is up to your own discretion - not just because nobody knows you're a Nigerian prince (with all apologies to actual traditional Nigerian royalty), but also because we all know ourselves best. While vulnerability in showing ourselves, flaws and all does allow one to be sincere and avoid pretense, it doesn't mean that one can presume that everyone else would do likewise.

Kerry30Den
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Re: Not Who She Said She Was

Postby Kerry30Den » Thu Dec 15, 2016 11:19 pm

This is a very important point you make Krisi. I always read things on the internet with a certain degree of skepticism. I'll admit, I know a lot of you have supportive SOs who are involved in your cross dressing. However, I do also have to admit that when I read some of the experiences that get posted I wonder if they're real or just a closeted CD's fantasy. While I'm naturally a skeptic I do try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. But I am careful about how much stock I put into people's posts.

Kerry30Den
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Joined: Wed Dec 07, 2016 4:34 pm

Re: Not Who She Said She Was

Postby Kerry30Den » Thu Dec 15, 2016 11:19 pm

I usually don't keep up with everyone's full posting history here, it's impossible but I do see where a story here and there changes and maybe the situation changed too? who knows, I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt and I know my story never changes, my life is that boring lol but I do agree that some of these posts , even with an accepting SO, are way out there and probably are a closeted girls fantasies. Hell we all have them , best not to post about them though unless your actually labeling the thread a fantasy

Kerry30Den
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Re: Not Who She Said She Was

Postby Kerry30Den » Thu Dec 15, 2016 11:19 pm

One advantage of this forum is that you can search anyone's post history. Unless someone had adopted a specific "persona" I think it's hard to hide who you really are but I sure hope people are changing. Isn't that the point of joining this forum? To figure things out and make positive change? For every thousand here, there is one troll. So what?

I remember distinctly writing about how important it was to "pass" in order to go out. Today I am a clear advocate that "passing" is a fantasy and that it's a waste of time thinking about it. When I joined, I wasn't going out. I didn't realize that it was simple confidence that allows us out the door. I learned and changed.

Kerry30Den
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Joined: Wed Dec 07, 2016 4:34 pm

Re: Not Who She Said She Was

Postby Kerry30Den » Thu Dec 15, 2016 11:20 pm

An interesting discusion and a very valid point you are making Krisi. I am still very much a closet cd who would love to enjoy total freedom to be just me. I have a wife of some 35+ years who knows pretty much exactly who I am and then I have the rest of the plannet. They have little idea save for the occasional words I type on these pages. I do not for one moment believe every thing typed here is true. But I do believe the vast majority of it is well intentioned and to the benefit of people like myself.

Kerry30Den
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Joined: Wed Dec 07, 2016 4:34 pm

Re: Not Who She Said She Was

Postby Kerry30Den » Thu Dec 15, 2016 11:20 pm

Well Kristi, I'm who I say I am. For one thing I honestly can't make this stuff up. I think most of us who have been on the Forum for awhile know the honest scoop on many. There are a few old friends who never come on any more that I really miss but there are always new ones we are meeting as well.Works for me.

Kerry30Den
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Re: Not Who She Said She Was

Postby Kerry30Den » Thu Dec 15, 2016 11:20 pm

Thanks Krisi I find myself being more skeptical of things I read online anymore. Not so much here but your right sometimes
I do find myself wondering if what they say about themselves is really true. I try myself to be pretty transparent.
Leigh

Kerry30Den
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Re: Not Who She Said She Was

Postby Kerry30Den » Thu Dec 15, 2016 11:20 pm

Ah yes the fantasy world. Most here live in it and we accept that. The issue comes when someone breaks the rules to play that game. No, I don't believe everything people post here. There has to be a certain amount of imagination in this lifestyle. Otherwise, people wouldn't really care about how they are perceived while out dancing, or flirting or driving. And to honest people do come on here and make a whole persona that many respect or admire. And since there is no real life vetting happening, it goes on. No harm no foul. Until they do cross that line that pushes the rules or they become a troll in some manner. A small percentage here do make sure that there is proof of who they are. But as you well know, most cannot due to family or work or community.

So, do you trust those who are members? I do in most cases. Why not? People come here to learn and not be alone.

Kerry30Den
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Re: Not Who She Said She Was

Postby Kerry30Den » Thu Dec 15, 2016 11:21 pm

It's hard to say that I trust those who are members. It depends a lot on what is being discussed. If someone says that they got a nice blouse at Kohls, yes I trust them. If they say a person cannot lose his job because of crossdressing, well I know better. I'm not sure that's a matter of trust, they might be just naïve. Or, they may be promoting an agenda.

Anything that gets posted that doesn't seem likely arouses suspicion. And of course I lose trust in the ones who have posted conflicting information about themselves. It's pretty much what I posted in my original post.

Yes, people come here to learn and not be alone but other people come here to fool people. It's a shame, but it happens.

Kerry30Den
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Re: Not Who She Said She Was

Postby Kerry30Den » Thu Dec 15, 2016 11:21 pm

While we're on the subject, I actually have a confession to make: The person in my avatar is not really me! Image

Kerry30Den
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Re: Not Who She Said She Was

Postby Kerry30Den » Thu Dec 15, 2016 11:21 pm

A lot of people may actually be who they say they are, but posting 20 year old pics. That is probably more common than some old creep posting.
Some posters look pretty hot, but I have to remind myself they are men, and I'm heterosexual.

"Now I live near Key West. And before you ask a girl on a date, you better check her for a pecker, before it's too late". Howard Livingston "Living On Key West Time"

Kerry30Den
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Joined: Wed Dec 07, 2016 4:34 pm

Re: Not Who She Said She Was

Postby Kerry30Den » Thu Dec 15, 2016 11:21 pm

[img]images/buttons/viewpost-right.png[/img][/url]

While we're on the subject, I actually have a confession to make: The person in my avatar is not really me! [img]http://www.tamaracroft.co.uk/Smilies/Ze%20[img]http://www.tamaracroft.co.uk/Smilies/Big%20grin.gif[/img]



Well rat farts...

I guess I should admit that the person in my avatar is not really me either. Image Neither is Marcelo my real name but it is my real fictional character[/img]
"All the world's indeed a stage and we are merely players, performers and portrayers - each another's audience outside the gilded cage."[/i]
Rush, Limelight

Kerry30Den
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Joined: Wed Dec 07, 2016 4:34 pm

Re: Not Who She Said She Was

Postby Kerry30Den » Thu Dec 15, 2016 11:22 pm

I still have her on my friends list
You can do a Google Image search of my avatar and pretty sure Robin414 from CD.COM will hit the top of the list.

That said though cyberspace can be pretty scary, I took down my Boy mode v. Girl mode pics for the same reason I don't 'store' my CC number when I shop online...cuz my pics are like money people

Actually I look old enough that my pics could be ON money

Kerry30Den
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Joined: Wed Dec 07, 2016 4:34 pm

Re: Not Who She Said She Was

Postby Kerry30Den » Thu Dec 15, 2016 11:22 pm

Well ok you got me. I'm not going to lie, it's a small world and I'm a closet crossdresser who occasionally takes a drive dressed. I can't afford to be outed and like you said I don't know who is on the other side. When on this site I'm very honest about my crossdressing problems and always give heart felt response to others here and hope everyone else is the same. Just like everything else, there is a history here and very easy to follow someone, where there from, how many kids, medical problems, etc,etc. Being here as long as I have I'm easy to follow, so I will admit to sometimes throwing in a side ball like. I went on vacation to Cuba, but I went to Mexico, but the story portraying to my holiday is real, my crossdressing problems that I ask for advice here is real. The advice I give to others is real. The stories I post are real, I have no reason to lie and I do take this site serious and hope when someone give advice to me or to others they are real. But till the day I want to take larger steps and tell my kids and family who I really am . I'm afraid I will throw in the curve ball now and then to make sure that right now nobody can trace my history to find out who I am. So you are going to see some inconsistency in my history. I love this site, it's really changed my life and completed Maria. This site was the first place and only place I joined anything to do with my dressing and the first time I spoke as Maria. I appreciate your post and we have to expect curtain things here, after all we are on the Internet. We read and the truth is in the eye of the beholder, it's up to the individual to believe or not to believe. Thanks and I'm sure you must have opened a few eyes with this post. And by the way, those are my legs on my avatar.Lol


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